I really hope I am offered this position tomorrow. It would feel great to have a job again. I never thought I'd say this. For a long time I'd hoped to find a way to go through life without ever having a typical job. Well, I figure I'm still sort of on that track as the jobs I've had haven't really been typical, except Docstoc.

When I was in college, I thought I'd be able to make it as a writer and comedian. I guess in another universe this could have happened. Being at UCSB was amazing in a lot of aspects, but it certainly didn't plug me into the comedy and entertainment world the way it does if you go to NYU or USC. In a way, it turned out for the best because I was able to grow and develop my own sense of humor, in another way it wasn't for the best because while I grew artistically, I have no sense of what I needed to do to be successful at it in any realistic way when I first came to LA.

I sort of just assumed people would see me and immediately realize that I was incredible and give me some money to write for a show or something, really I hadn't thought about it much further than that. Turns out you need contacts, portfolios, headshots and the like to really get anywhere. I wasn't much for doing any of that stuff, I'm still not. I figure one day I'll either have the money to make a movie on my own and on my own terms or it will never happen and that's not such a tragedy. Lots of people want to make movies and never get to do it. I see all of them sitting in coffee shops working on their hopeless screenplays on their MacBook Pros constantly.

If I get this job it is highly possible I'll be traveling around to film festivals to assist Stan as they screen his new film. This would be really fun for me. I'm really interested to see how that part of the process works, the only festivals I've ever gone to are in LA and Santa Barbara. I also haven't been out of the state since 2006, except one trip to Vegas, which doesn't really count. So that would be exciting for me. I'd have to go get myself a passport too, just in case I have to leave the country, ahh feels freeing just to even say it.

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I did yoga yesterday and I my hips are pretty sore. Even though my hamstrings, hips and shoulders are so tight they prevent me from doing a lot of the moves, I still credit yoga for making some big changes in my life. Being more in touch with and understanding my body has helped immensely with sciatica, for years I couldn't play basketball or tennis because of lower back pain and finally through yoga and stretching I've realized my bodies limits. I also credit it for helping with Crohn's Disease. It has taught me how to breath to relieve tension in my abdomen and this is highly preferential to taking meds. I think the doctor would have had me on medication forever. Leads me to believe I can one day be off 'mood stabilizers' too. I don't know when or if that will ever happen. I know my doctor doesn't want that to happen, but the truth is, the last couple times I've had manic episodes, I had no doctor and no medication to take when I couldn't sleep. I didn't know what to do and was afraid to tell anyone, I know that wouldn't be the case now and I think taking a colonopin every once in a while when I couldn't sleep would be preferable to taking Seroquel all the time.

I am still pretty tired a lot of the time, I think a lot of this has to do with not having much to do, but part of it must also be Seroquel, it just makes me tired. My doctor has suggested I take something else to give me more energy but this scares me. I don't want to take any more meds than are absolutely necessary, as you can probably tell as I am even questioning the one I am taking now. I think taking more would make me even more paranoid and form what I hear taking meds that give you more energy can make you more prone to manic episodes and I'd rather sleep a lot than run into one of those again.

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I'm listening to Battle Studies by John Mayer, really for the first time. This album has, in my mind, proved so many of his haters right. It's made him harder to defend, eschewing in adult contemporary, slow rhythms, lyrics really sap heavy, as if Ben Folds made an album where every song was "The Luckiest." In any case, I'm going to listen to it, just to see what's up. "All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye" - can relate to that one, but even so, its lyrics are not evocative of anything specific like most songs on his other album and the guitar seems to be simple chords with layered solos on top.

I've always liked John Mayer. A lot of my friends listened to "Room For Squares" in high school. Listening to it still totally takes me back to that time, the end of my junior and then senior year. I was just starting to play guitar and playing anything by John Mayer is a real challenge. Whereas, if you can master bar chords, you've learned everything by Jack Johnson in one day, to play John Mayer, you had to learn how to stretch like five frets and hold the low E with your thumb, not to mention, you had to pick specific strings rather than just strum.

I went to see him a couple times and he was always a really great live show. One of the cooler memories I have is him and another guy soloing one one guitar at the same time. He was great on "Room For Squares" because as a kid in high school, who had friends but was not at all popular and couldn't figure things out with the ladies, he seemed equally lost and pinning, but intent on growing and figuring it out.

His next album "Heavier Things" was alright, but nothing, in my mind in comparison to his first. Then, when I was in Italy, in the Fall of 2006, he came out with "Continuum." I loved this album through and through. I loved that it took songs from his blues album "Try," I loved that it was an anti-war album for generation-y, at a time when we really believed we could wait on the world to change. "Stop This Train" was like a PS to "Room For Squares," he was far away from that place, coming back for one fleeting moment that quickly disappeared, just to "cry as you're driving away in the dark." And then there's "I'm Gonna Find Another You," just a really kick ass break up song.

Battle Studies is just weak. Although I like, "Who Says," "Who says I can't get stoned, turn off the lights and the telephone, me in my house alone, who says I can't get stoned?" Beyond that, I don't even think I'm going to be able to finish it. Hopefully his next album he at least tries to kick a little ass, I mean, I don't expect to much, cuz it's John Mayer, but this isn't even rock and roll! It's not even adult contemporary, it's just plodding along. His cover of Crossroads is really restrained and weak.

Two and a half of John Mayer's albums are great, whether you are feeling particularly in love or out of love.

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Niners just officially made it into the playoffs for the first time in like 8 or 9 years. Nice.