Home Alone

I am back in the Palisades at my aunt and uncle's and they're gone skiing in Switzerland. It's a pretty good setup. I've got the fire going and I'm watching Inside the NBA on TV. I'm stoked that the NBA season has started again. The Kings lost tonight, but they beat the Lakers and the Clippers are looking pretty good too.

I left for the airport at 10 this morning and got home about 3. My flight was a little late and I took the shuttle home. My longest conversation of the day was with the shuttle driver. He wanted to talk about OJ Simpson, since we were driving by where his house used to be. He said people from all over the world were watching that trial, he was in Lebanon at the time. He said that it's all about money and the people with money can afford the lawyers that get them off the hook. He said that if it was him, he would just disappear, get locked away forever without a trial. I couldn't disagree with him, as he was muslim.

That being said, I haven't talked much to anyone today. I called my dad when I got back and I went into the office for a couple hours. Most of my LA friends are gone...Jace, Josh, Kevin, Stefan, Kristin, I think Gilli is here, but I never heard back from her, will call her up again tomorrow.

Going home was fun on Friday, but beyond that I didn't get to hang out with friends like I usually do when I'm home on the holidays. This was the first time ever I felt a little lonely going home and now that I am back I am feeling really lonely, mostly because I am alone and I don't really have any plans now that I am back in LA. I have tentative New Year's plans, but that's it.

I remember in high school when I took a theater workshop the summer before my junior year and I was walking away to go eat lunch by myself and Heather Capizzi called out my name and invited me to lunch with all of the rest of the people in the workshop. Everyone accepted me and made me feel welcome immediately.

I remember in college when I went to audition for the improv team and I felt the same way.

I long to have that feeling again, that I have something and people that want me around, that are calling trying to get me to hang out and leaving messages and texts when I can't. I guess part of it is my fault because I've been absent a lot of the time and now I live way on the other side of town from anyone I could even hang out with. I don't always feel like this, but I'm certainly feeling it now. I texted with Hanna, hoping I could hang out with her this week, but she is seeing someone now. Trying to write, but finding it hard.